The Washingtonian, March 2005

I am twenty-five feet in the air, preparing to leap off a telephone pole. This is how I have chosen to spend my first full weekend away from my toddler, and while the air is crisp and clean and the view of rolling green and golden hills breathtaking, I imagine my husband watching me teetering on the top of a swaying pole, wondering how this could qualify as a relaxing escape.

I’m not in any real danger—I am tethered to three teammates ready to catch me and lower me gently to the ground. And this is not simply about an adrenaline rush. Climbing to the top and jumping off the “Pamper Pole” is just one of the challenging activities of Kahawa Adventures’ Safari for the Soul, a weekend retreat in Buckeystown, Maryland designed to inspire participants to consider their life choices and create change.

Anne Loehr, who led safaris in East Africa and lived in Kenya for 13 years, and Brian Emerson, who spent 14 months in Southern Africa, coupled their love of adventure with their training as life coaches to create Kahawa Adventures. Kahawa, which means coffee in Swahili, is an apt name: “Kahawa Adventures is extreme coaching,” says Brian. “We use adventure programming to get people to step back, look at the areas of their life where they’re striving for more, and encourage them to go out and get it.”

I arrive late Friday evening to meet the other five people in the group: Gary, Nancy and Steve, all from the Washington area, and Scott and Susan, who have traveled from Minnesota in their RV. Each came for a different reason—some personal, some professional. “I was burnt out and wanted to find a new career,” says Steve, a 44-year-old systems architect. “I was intrigued with the idea of discovering my ‘life purpose’ and then trying to figure out how to find the motivation to take action.”

Saturday and Sunday are spent tackling the ropes course, which is a short walk away from the farm house where we’re staying. Each element is designed to teach participants something about themselves, and Brian and Anne schedule the days to include activities that will best serve the group. Some, like the “Spider Web,” foster team building. The aim is to get all members of the team through a web of ropes, using each opening only once and without touching the ropes. In the minutes we spend figuring out the choreography of it all, our roles, either as leaders or otherwise, become clear.

One of the most challenging activities for me is climbing the “Giant’s Ladder.” It seems simple enough, but the rungs start about four feet apart and get progressively wider; the goal is to reach the top, 30 feet up, working in pairs. Oh, and the ladder swings. Naturally a loner, I prefer to tackle problems on my own so my inclination was to simply pull myself up; but it’s impossible to do alone and the only way to conquer the thing is to figure out how best to work with my partner, Gary. We only get three-quarters of the way up but it’s a victory all things considered.
The real learning this weekend comes from journaling and group discussions after completing the physical challenges. After each exercise, we are asked to describe our feelings, either on paper, in pairs or with the larger group. We reveal fears that might have been evoked, and set goals for personal development in five areas—emotional, spiritual, social, mental and physical.

As a writer, journaling comes naturally and it is easy to be honest with myself on paper. Sharing these feelings in a group is far more difficult, as I’d much rather be scurrying up the “Pamper Pole” than discussing my feelings with people I’ve only just met.
Brian and Anne ask pointed questions to prompt us to consider what might simply have been physical exercise as a metaphor for things applicable to real life. The methods we use to tackle each element reveal something about ourselves; my effortless climbing, leaping and falling is indicative of my competitive, perfectionist nature—this I know—but when Brian says intentionally, but seemingly in passing: “You make it seem so easy; at least that’s the way it looks to everyone else,” something clicks.

While everyone else has revealed some sort of vulnerability: an apprehension before scaling a height or even crying during group discussions, I have been reluctant to do so, and there’s something alienating about being the sole “flawless” participant. For me, one of the lessons learnt this weekend was that my unwillingness to be weak and my apparent perfection is sometimes off-putting, and hinders my ability to connect with others.

There is something about physically conquering fears—Susan and Steve were both terrified of heights yet managed to surpass their goals on the high elements—and truly examining one’s life that prompts a transformation. Since participating in the retreat, Steve has contacted people to explore a new career; Nancy, 47, says: “Today when I come up against some imaginary line—a challenge or circumstance from which I’ve often turned back—I now think of all I overcame that weekend.”

Ultimately, the retreat is not so much about learning something brand new about oneself, but about clarifying objectives and taking action.

Kahawa Adventures 2005 dates: June 10-12. Cost: $999 single room ($899 early registration) or $899 sharing a double ($799 early registration). For more information go to http://www.eco-resorts.com/kahawa-adventures.php or call 866-ECORESORTS.